…or, rather, the inequivalence of life and existence.
Roughly one and a half year ago, in a middle of a chilly night of April, I was lying on my back in a Swedish cemetery. Not dead was I, yet death was the very thing that drove me there. That night was sort of a beginning to certain considerations I would keep coming back to over and over again, and in a way, rather straightforward continuation to other things that had happened earlier. Now, we are talking about life, death and existence within the bounds of these two.
Ever since dumping the pantheistic mysticism I held on to some extent during my early teens, my attitude towards death and dying has been quite indifferent. Not that I haven’t cared if I lived or died, but that there’s no point in making a big fuzz about the transition. Yet, death is vital. It bounds and defines life as we understand it, even to the point that it’s absurd to speak about “life after death” (zombie movies notwithstanding). How could we, who are bound to the flesh so tightly that the whole modern culture is based on the material (you know, the quality of your life is valued by the things you have), ever understand an immaterial existence and, indeed, the possibility of being without living? In this sense, I quote, it is often a lot more useful to go in depths wondering if there’s life before death, rather than after it. So go on then, indulgence with life and remember to drink one for the good ol’ Anton!
Nevertheless, sooner or later you will hit those cemetery gates. What was it then, that I found in the Swedish cemetery on that night? An axiom old, or rather timeless: the biological life and the individual existence are not equal. Your very being, however attached to the old body in this natural world, is something that may thrive even when the carnal part of your human manifestation fails. Just like the ageless bear of the northern tribes,¹ you are essentially a non-natural being. As the saying goes: “we are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience”.² There is something “beyond” the natural world – and Quite A Something it is!
Now don’t get me wrong. This is not a matter of faith or silly gospels, or even sillier ideas about heavens and hells. It is a thought reasoned, tested and, indeed, experienced. So don’t take just my word for it. Go find it yourself, and you might learn a thing or two on the way that will help you become something you never even dreamed of.
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[1] More on the bear later on.
[2] Often attributed to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
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From the Heart of your Being, raise the glass and drink:
— to what you have been, to what you are and to what you will be;
— to everything that is hidden and waiting for you to find it;
— to the truths that shall be uncovered;
— to the good days and to the bad days, for without one the other would be meaningless;
— to the remembrance and not-forgetting;
— to the ones that have helped you along the path;
— to the blood that runs in your veins and to the air that whirls in your lungs;
— to the pulse that beats throughout the universe;
— to the One that IS within you and beyond you.
◊ Xepera-Xeper-Xeperu! ◊
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Although I try to avoid posting just random quotes here, I thought I could share with you a few gems of wisdom from Ross Enamait; I’ve been reading his books recently since I’ve got back on the track with my physical training. Here’s what the man has to say on persistence and the road to mastery:
“There are no shortcuts. Whatever modality you choose, you’d better be prepared to put in the work. If you apply hard work, consistency, and perseverance to your plan, you will achieve results, regardless of the tools you choose.”
NG p. 14
“Realize that ‘impossible’ is only a word. The only impossible feats in this world are those that you accept. I refuse to believe in the word.”
NG p. 51
“Hard work has a magical way of erasing any so-called genetic limitations.”
NG p. 88
“You must view life as an open book. You have the ability to write your own future. Don’t let anyone put a ceiling on your ability. With hard work and perseverance, you can achieve anything. You may fail several times, but if you stick with it, the time will come when you do succeed.”
NG p. 88
“To develop this ability, you need to bust your ass. There are no secrets. Hard work and consistency will be your best weapons.”
NG p. 158
“Simple plans produce results if you are willing to put in the work. With diligence and determination, you will improve and succeed. Without these attributes, no program will help you.”
NG p. 196
“The tools that you choose are nothing more than a means to an end. Equipment will not change the equation for success, as the most important variable will always be you.“
FTC, p. 3
“You must focus on the big picture. Prepare for the long haul. Champions are not developed overnight. It takes years of hard work and a relentless desire to improve. Do not seek instant gratification, as you will find yourself traveling down a never-ending road of disappointment and failure.”
FTC, p. 43
“The effort that you put forth is up to you.”
FTC, p. 86
“You don’t need anything but your own refusal to accept anything but your best.”
FTC, p. 88
“How bad do you want it?”
Sources: Never Gymless & Full Throttle Conditioning
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Alright, Folks. The Walpurgisnacht is behind. The spring has indeed come, and with it, I too feel awakened. It may seem as if I had been dreaming through the winter. This is not true, but perhaps I have been a bit silent lately – consider this blog as an example. However, this post can be taken as an indication that things are changing. I’m going to switch a gear up and turn this blog into a true vessel of my thoughts instead of a dump of random quotes it has been (however inspiring the quotes may be). I’m rising the blog from the first three rooms of the consciousness to the fourth.¹
Some of the things I’ve been pondering lately can be found in the excellent piece of a musical genius called Tears of the Dragon by Bruce Dickinson. If you don’t have a clue how it sounds or need a reminder, spend a moment with this YouTube clip. It’s of a poor quality, but should be enough to give the point. The song is a strange mixture of sorrow and joy, as everything worthy in life seems to be.
Tears of the Dragon is all about Initiation, for me at least. Facing the deep waters of your Self is indeed only for the brave. The fear is always there and must be faced if one wants to get further on the path.
Every one of us has walls built around the core of her Self, the walls that hinder the Becoming and protect the Self from breaking apart at the same time. For the pressure of existence is too much to bear if one lays her Self naked into the world as it is. The Self must be both hardened and caressed before this can be done, and it requires a great deal of strength, time and patience. Blood, sweat and tears – but also smile, laugh and love to an equal amount.
The problem is that before we realize this, we have been exposed to the world and we’ve constructed perhaps more hindering walls than those that protect. It’s a tricky business to know which of them need to be torn down and which should stand untouched or be polished.
The waters are ever deep, vast to infinity. The great sorrow is knowing that whatever we do, we are never finished. But something calls us forward, to continue the journey and seek the mysteries beneath the waves. It is our curse and our blessing and the Heart of the game we call Initiation.
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[1] For the rooms of consciousness, see Robert S. de Ropp’s The Master Game. More of that book will be written in this blog at some point in the near future.
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The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavor in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness.
Albert Einstein: My Credo
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Ottakaamme ilo irti elämältä
ja täyttäkäämme ikävyyden lovi.
Myöhäistä on silloin, kun tuonen tuvill’ ollaan
ja hiljainen on mustan mullan povi.
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Won’t you join me on the perennial quest
Reaching into the dark, retrieving light
Search for answers on the perennial quest
Where dreams are followed, and time is a testNo time for mental crutches
The maker has moved on
I will take it raw and be on my wayThose that stood beside me
I’m glad you understand
Behind these written words
I share the simple plan
To hang on to the way that we feelFrom rivers of sorrow
To oceans deep with hope
I have travelled them
Now, there is no turning back
The limit, the sky
I ask my questions Why? What today?
When tomorrow?Filtering out the bad that holds us back…
Take hold of what is true to your hunger
A hunger that will not go away
Plans for tomorrow, they will remain
- Chuck Schuldiner
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Spent my days with a woman unkind
smoked my stuff and drank all my wine
Made up my mind to make a new start
going to California with an aching in my Heart
Someone told me there’s a girl out there
with Love in her eyes and flowers in her hairTook my chances on a big jet plane
never let them tell you that they’re all the same
The sea was red and the sky was grey
wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today
The Mountains and the Canyons started to tremble and shake
as the Children of the Sun began to awakeSeems that the wrath of the Gods
got a punch on the nose and it started to flow
I think I might be sinking
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I’ll meet you up there where the Path
runs straight and highTo find a queen without a king
they say she plays guitar and cries and sings
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
tryin’ to find a woman who’s never, never, never been bornStanding on a hill in my Mountain of Dreams
telling mySelf its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems
- Led Zeppelin: Going to California
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The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavor in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is a something that our mind cannot grasp and whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly and as a feeble reflection, this is religiousness.